Formal Letter (Description Reflection)

Dear Professor, 

I would like to take this chance to introduce myself, my name is Ye Kunhui, you can also call me Kunhui or simply Kun. I am currently studying Mechanical Engineering at the Singapore Institute of Technology as a Year 1. I chose an engineering degree because I wanted to study mechanical engineering to advance technology, especially in the field of IoT. Unlike many other students in this course, I graduated with a diploma in Aerospace System & Management in 2022 and enter SIT in the same year. This is because I don't need to serve in NS like other people my age because I'm a foreign student from China. And this made me one of the youngest students in your class! 

What I wish to gain from this module is related to my communication weaknesses. I need to improve my ability to be a confident presenter and writer. Usually, during presentations, I get nervous when I'm being stared at in front of an audience. This tension would cause my brain to go blank and I would forget all the prep work before the presentation. As a result, it is difficult for me to make eye contact with the audience because I cannot continue my presentation without looking at the notes.

Also, in terms of writing, since English is not my first language, it is difficult for me to write essays without grammar and vocabulary errors. Most of the time, I can't put the thoughts & ideas in my mind into the right words. And there is always room for editing and improvement. While I may not be the best at writing and interacting with audiences, I have a lot of confidence in my speaking tone, and if I can get over my fear of speaking, I believe I can be a confident speaker.

Your Sincerely

Kunhui

Update on 11/09/22

Comments

  1. Quan Sheng8 September 2022 at 20:35

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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    Replies
    1. Quan Sheng8 September 2022 at 20:38

      Language used need to be worked on, some sentences can be phrase better. For example, 'This is an introductory letter that I hope allows you to get to know me better.'

      Delete
    2. Ye Kunhui18 September 2022 at 20:21

      Hi Quan Sheng,
      Thank you for pointing out my sentence fragments so that I can spot my mistake easily.

      Delete
  2. Kelvin9 September 2022 at 21:00

    Hi Kun Hi, I am Kelvin and I will be leaving a feedback of your formal letter. There are a few sentence fragments here and there. Phrasing of sentences can also be better. Hope to see you be able to refine your skills by the end of the mod.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ye Kunhui18 September 2022 at 20:25

      Hi Kelvin,
      Thank you for the comment! Hope you are able to refine your skills by the end of the course too!

      Delete
  3. Marcus14 September 2022 at 22:47

    Hi Kunhui, the letter is well organized with a good flow and there are no significant grammatical errors spotted. Language use is pretty good too. However, there are some sentence structure issues. I believe through this module, you will be able to solve this minor issue. Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ye Kunhui18 September 2022 at 20:29

      Hi Marcus,
      Thank you for the comment! Hope you can learn something at the end of this module too.

      Delete
  4. Brad Blackstone24 September 2022 at 21:08

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. Brad Blackstone24 September 2022 at 21:10

    Dear Kun,

    Thank you for this concise , clear and well substantiated letter. I appreciate the sharing and how you have overviewed your background and communication experience. You've done a fairly good job addressing the brief across all sections and providing supporting information that allows us readers to gain a clearer understanding of who you are. I especially appreciate you sharing with us that you're from China. I would have liked to known a bit more about that aspect of your life. Where in China are you from? How long have you been here? Do you have other family members here?

    You did provide quite a bit of detail on your weaknesses in comm skills and goals. Rest assured we will address those this term. You've used language in an appropriate manner in this post, though here are a few issues:

    1. sentence structure
    -- I would like to take this chance to introduce myself, my name is Ye Kunhui, you can also call me Kunhui or simply Kun. > (comma splice)
    2. verb forms
    -- I graduated with a diploma in Aerospace System & Management in 2022 and enter ... > (tense error)
    3. overuse of caps
    -- a diploma in Aerospace System & Management
    4. usage
    -- I can't put the thoughts & ideas > I can't put the thoughts and ideas
    -- Dear Professor, > (name)

    Let's work on these points.

    I look forward to learning more about you in the weeks ahead.

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete

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